Bi the way...

I’ve always felt like Pride wasn’t something for me, like I wasn’t part of the LGBTQ+ community despite being the third letter mentioned. Being bi but in a heterosexual relationship can be a conflicting combination. I benefit from privileges that come with living in a heteronormative society - but with that comes a feeling of invisibility, like i’m in neither camp, like I’m pretending.

"Sorry my wax is due": A timeline of the conflicting relationship with my body hair

In 1915, Gillette released an ad of a woman wearing a sleeveless dress. This was the new style, and society decided that women needed hairless armpits to go with them. Gillette’s Milady Décolleté became the first razor marketed to women; one million were sold by 1917. See article

In year 5 a boy saw sunlight glistening off the hair above my lip and my arms. Him and his friends teased me. I borrowed my mum’s razor that night and shaved my face, arms and legs. In the summer my hair always grows way quicker. It seemed like I spent every day plucking the hair joining my eyebrows. I got lazy and swiped a razor down that gap too. My eyebrows were too far apart for months but at least they were apart.

The art of making things look effortless: Learnings from working in events

For the past year I was the Global Events Coordinator for Appear Here, the leading online marketplace to book a store. From defining the strategy, sourcing speakers and managing logistics, this was very much a baptism of fire. But as is the nature of a start-up, being thrown in at the deep-end was an opportunity to learn quickly and hope for the best.

I thought I would share some advice from the last 12 months, mainly learnings from mistakes I’ve made, so I’ve thrown in a few anecdotes for some light entertainment. A few points may be obvious if you’re well versed in the event world, but if it’s unknown territory like it was for me, here are a few tips and tricks:

"He's a good guy really": Why are we so afraid to call out our friends' behaviour?

Image by Shannon Downey @badasscrossstitch

Last week I saw a Tweet which read “pressuring a girl until she says yes isn’t normal either btw” - a sentiment I think would resonate with most women. What followed was a thread of people expressing their experiences in response to this; but it wasn’t just victims, those guilty of perpetrating this behaviour were also weighing in. I was amazed at how open this conversation was; individuals engaging with quite a loaded tweet productively to look inward rather than defend or simply dismiss it as irrelevant to them. Once one person had disclosed his ignorance growing up, I saw others follow suit in reflecting on previous regretted actions. This response continued once I re-shared the tweet on my story, with men DMing me in praise of the thread. Here is one of the messages*: 

6 months sober: 6 things I've learned

Why did I decide to stop drinking (for a while at least)? I was on a night out in Brighton with my boyfriend and his cousin last October. They hadn’t seen each other in ages and he was really excited for it. The sequence of events is hazy but I remember screaming at a bouncer who yelled at me for going into a private room; I was lost and trying to find the way out when I stumbled into it. I was completely triggered and ended up in a blind rage of uncontrollable crying. Jack, without hesitation, looked after me and took me home; he’d never say it but I ruined his night. My reaction was completely disproportionate to the situation and unfortunately this had become a pretty common occurrence.

For the past 8 years, I’ve had the best and the worst time while drinking. Rolling on the floor laughing or screaming at strangers and crying over bad memories. I would always be on a tipping point with no idea which way I would go and what would set me off next. After that night out in October I decided to stop altogether. Many people said “just drink less” but I was curious and the more people didn't think I’d do it the more it spurred me on. Now it’s not something I even really think about.

I’m not going to go into the health benefits or how nice it is to wake up feeling fresh cause it’s boring and to be honest I’ve had nights that are so worth the hangover. But here are some things I have learned: